Bring me the winner

-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.

-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.

-- Well, bring me the winner then.

给我那个打赢的吧

-- 服务员，

这个龙虾只有一只爪。

-- 对不起，先生，这只肯定打过架了。

-- 哦， 那给我那个打赢的吧。

英语笑话（六）The mean man's party.

The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."

"Why use my elbow and foot?"

"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?"

吝啬鬼请客

一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”

“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢？”

“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧？”吝啬鬼回答。