My imaginary pet would be a South China Tiger.Its name would be Angle.It would be fierce.So,it would be a leader of all animals.

    Every day,it would eat much meat like fish and beef.It would run quickly like wind.We would play together.I wouldn't keep it.Because we would be friends.And friends couldn't keep each other.

    One day,it would be lost.I couldn't find it everywhere.I would be very worried. I would cry,But I would believe I could find it no matter where it would be.Finally,we would meet again.We would have a happy life till we would die.

    But in fact,this kind of tigers haven't lived in the world.I really wish my story is true.I don't know how many animals will die.However I know these sad things are having now.

评分：90分

级别：优秀

批 改

1. Because we would be friends. Because 引导的原因状语从句不能单独成句，应该和主句合到一起。应该是：I wouldn't keep it because we would be friends. 这样表达更地道。

2. I couldn't find it everywhere. 这里应将everywhere改为anywhere. 因为everywhere,常用于肯定句，陈述句。而在否定句中，要用anywhere.

3. We would have a happy life till we would die. 这里应将would die改为died. 原因是：主句用了将来时后，从句一般用现在时或过去时。 例： I will call you if it rains tommorrow. 注意rains的时态，如果变成will rain就不对了。

4. I really wish my story is true. 本句中，is应变成were. wish 在表达愿望时，通常用虚拟语气。 虚拟语气中，be 一律改用were. 例如：I wish you were my mother. 我希望你是我妈妈。（而事实上，你不是。也不可能是。） 当然，如果把wish 变成hope 也可以，这样后面就不用变化了。

5. However I know these sad things are having now. 将having 改为existing. 表达“存在”。having 没有此用法。

点评：本文前半部分行文相当流利，读走来感觉很好。后边部分表达上出现一些小的错误，加之用词方面，有待于进一步完善。

给分理由：1. 上面所列的五处语言表达错误，扣10分。建议作者深入地领会这些在写作过程中容易忽略的地方。 在以后的写作中更上一层楼。

2. 其它方面感觉良好。