小编：有如此毅力，背GRE考研究生、你干什么不好、非得干这个？
5. Laohekou, China: Drive-by robber nabs dog poo
中国老河口：飞车贼走了狗屎运
Mrs Chen was waiting to withdraw moneywhen her dog needed to deposit a “number two。” She wrapped up hisbusiness in newspaper and was ready to throw it away when twomotorcyclists screeched to a halt, wrestled the warm package from her grasp and sped away. Police investigated the case while “laughing atthe stupidity of the robbers。”
话说陈女士正准备取钱，她的宠物狗要便便。于是陈女士就顺手拿了报纸包裹起小狗的赃物。正当她要把这堆报纸扔掉，一对飞车贼从旁呼啸而过，将她手里的报纸一把抢走！警察随后抓住了飞贼，并笑得直不起腰来。
小编：这可是实实在在的狗屎运啊！不过运气在警察这边咯。
6. Shanghai, China: Man tries to avoid his nagging wife by getting arrested
中国上海：为躲“唐僧”老婆、老公宁愿被抓
29 year-old Linghua Wong decided the onlyway to escape his wife’s hen-pecking was by going to jail. Wong walked into a police station and lied about robbing someone, but authorities refused to believe him. He tried pointing a toy gun at a taxi driver,but the cabbie screamed and scared him away. After multiple bungles,Wong finally achieved his goal. He was locked away from his wife for four years。
29岁男子凌华望(音)认定躲避老婆唠叨的唯一方法就是去坐牢。凌先生去警察局自首、撒谎说自己抢劫了谁谁谁，但没人信；跟着他又拿玩具枪对着一名出租车司机，结果对方尖叫、反而吓跑了他自己。不过多次尝试之后他终于如愿以偿，被判入狱4年，总算有个清静时候了。
小编：完全理解。女同胞们注意素质，不然男人们就被逼走上犯罪的道路了。
7. Fujian, China: Suspect tries to avoid jail by faking a coma
中国福建：嫌疑犯为躲坐牢装昏迷
The day before his trial, a suspected rapist named Chen collapsed into unconsciousness. Doctors couldn’t figure outwhat was wrong until a surgeon loudly announced he was about to pokeChen with an XXL needle. The patient’s face twitched and moments later,he “miraculously” stood up。
在审判前一天，嫌疑强奸犯陈某突然昏迷。医生找不出他的犯病原因，不过当宣称要用超大号的针给他注射时，陈某面色扭曲、跟着就奇迹般的站了起来！
小编：装昏迷这种事儿只有小学生水准，太低级、实在太低级了！
8. Kumagaya, Japan: Bank robber asks for instructions and stabs self
日本琦玉县：抢劫犯咨询如何抢劫、还扎伤自己
A would-be robber went up to a teller and stammered, “Any idea how you rob a bank?” The staff asked the man to leave, and he meekly obeyed, but not before accidentally stabbing himself in the leg with his own knife。
一名抢劫犯走向银行柜员、支吾问道：“你、你知道要怎么抢劫吗？”职员当场要求这名男子离开。他听话正要离去，却被自己带来的刀不小心割伤……
小编：大哥，你第一次抢银行吧……没吃过猪肉、总见过猪跑。回家好好研究几部警匪片再来吧。
9. Fukuoka, Japan: Thief caught while trying to undo his Spider suitjoozone.com