One Engine Left A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour la...

英语笑话 英语新闻

大五个月 第二次世界大战开始了，约翰想参军，可他只有十六岁，当时规定男孩到十八岁才能入伍。所以军医给他进行体检时，他说他已经十八岁了。 可约翰的哥哥刚入伍没几天，而且也是这个军医给他做的检查。这位医生还记得他哥哥的姓。所以当他看到约翰的表格时，感到非常惊奇。 “你多大了？”军医问。...

英语笑话

What's your name? A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with ...

英语笑话

No Ears There was a man who was in a horrible accident, and was injured. But the only permanent damage he suffered was the amputation(切除；截肢) of both of his ears. As a result of this unusual handicap(障碍；不利条件), he was very self-conscious about his having no...

英语笑话 英语新闻

All Right Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just made an illegal turn. I guess it's all right. my daughter replied, The police car behind us did th...

英语笑话

Too Much A Russian, a Cuban, an American businessman and an American lawyer were on a train traveling Europe. The Russian took out a large bottle of vodka(伏特加), poured each of his companions a drink and then threw the semi full bottle out the window. “Why...

英语笑话

A Way to Make Money Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, Just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I w...

英语笑话

General Patton Our daughter was being interviewed for a supervisory position. When asked if she had ever worked in such a capacity before, she answered, No, but at home I have four boys and they call me General Patton. She got the job....

英语笑话

Frog's Dream A small frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is gonna meet a young girl. The teller tells him, “ Yes, you are.” The frog replies, “Where? In a bar or at a party?” The teller says, “In biology class!”...

英语笑话

Taken for Granted THE SCHOOL HEALTH FORMS had been distributed to the students with an error---the word Sex had been spelled with an o. One mother, filling out the form for her son, wrote in the blank next to Sox: Usually brown. 理所当然 某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字——...

英语笑话 英语新闻