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美国GRE写作argument全部官方范文分析(6)(2)

时间:2011-07-20来源:网络整理栏目:Essay作者:作文地带整理 英语作文收藏:收藏本文
A six-month period is not a particularly long time frame for the citizens to determine that speed limit has influenced the number of automobile accidents in the area.从这一段开始攻击原文逻辑链。本段

  A six-month period is not a particularly long time frame for the citizens to determine that speed limit has influenced the number of automobile accidents in the area.从这一段开始攻击原文逻辑链。本段有四个分论点,本来应该写四段的。(至于为什么没有写三段,我想是因为awintro中说我们可以随意的选择段落的数量,并不会影响最后的结果。但是,这样的话前提是阅卷人有足够的耐心。所以为了保险起见,让人看着更为清楚些,我还是建议大家分开写)这里第一个攻击的就是6个月时间够不够。It is mentioned in the argument that Elmsford accidents decreased during the time period. 这一句话的目的在于复述原文条件,立起靶子。从这里开始攻击第二点,即天气的影响。 This may have been a time, such as during harsh weather conditions, when less people were driving on the road and therefore the number of accidents decreased. 对E的论证采用的是经典三段论,即天气差==〉人不出去==〉事故少。However, Forestville citizens, perhaps coerced by employment or other requirements, were unable to avoid driving on the roads. 再次进行了EF对比,通过coerced后面的从句进行推演,属于小展开。也足够充分。 Again, the demographics of the population are important. 这里对逻辑链的第三点进行了攻击。即人口数量的问题。 It is possible that Elmsford citizens do not have to travel far from work or work from their home, or do not work at all. 先说E的人可能少。论证方法是加条件后讨论。 Are there more people in Forestville than there were sic months ago?If so, there may be an increased number of accidents due to more automobiles on the road, and not due to the increased speed limits. 再说F的人可能多。论证方法同要是加条件后讨论。 Also in reference to the activities of the population, 最后攻击逻辑链的第四点,即人们活动的时间。(品味一下本段四个逻辑错误的安排顺序,时间==)天气==)人数==〉人的活动,看似无关,还是很有讲究的阿,这不正是从外在因素到内在因素吗)it is possible that Forestville inhabitants were traveling during less safe times of the day, such as early in the morning, or during twilight.Work or family habits may have encouraged citizens to drive during this time when Elmsford residents may not have been forced to do so.第四点的论证同样是采用了两者的对比。看来作者真是说到做到阿,竟然没有一次论证没有对比的!!论证方法为加条件后讨论。

  Overall, the reasoning behind decreasing Forestville's speed limit back to its original seems logical as presented above since the citizens are acting in their own best interests and want to protect their safety. 原来让步在这呢!其实作者心里一直有数,只是没写出来。但是在正文body的第一段已经就其假设进行了讨论。我想我们不是作者这样的牛人,这样的让步还是很有必要在第一段体现出来的。 However, before any final decisions are made about the reduction in speed limit, the citizens and officials of Forestville should evaluate all possible alternatives and causes for the increased number of accidents over the six-month period as compared to Elmsford.最后提出了建议。我们看到作者对于文章的立意把握得很好,要是换我们来写,可能会写限速怎么不好啊。而这文章中限速不管怎么说总是有好的一面,只是常识!所以作者的立意为:不是说限速不好,而是说要考虑全。引申一下,我们一定要对文章的立意有个把握。文章无非就三种立意,一种是好的(就像这样的为了安全的(比如skate范文)),一种就是不好不坏的(就像为了利益的为了利润(什么挣钱多啊)),一种是不好的(就像有个说不应该取消安全带规定,还有诋毁某人的)。这三种立意的写法可是完全不同的阿!对于第一种,切记要委婉!最好就是避而不谈,而说应该考虑更全面。对于后面两种,嘿嘿,就得狠点了,尤其是最后一种,就是谴责。后面的文章我会给出分析。英语作文
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