How would you answer this question: I am out of my abuse and have moved on with my life. There is something that I have been wondering about. How and when does the abuse stop playing a significant part of my life? I have seen others who have moved on and I would like to know how they did it.

　　对下面的问题你会作何回答：我摆脱了虐待，翻开新的生活。有些事我一直在考虑，从何时开始，如何虐待会停止在我的生活中扮演重要的角色?我见过那些继续生活的人，我想知道他们是如何做到的。

　　The woman who asked this, asked a valid question. There are many men, women and children who no longer are victims, but feel like they cannot leave it behind. It stays as much a part of themselves as it did while they were being abused. The only difference may be there is no physical or emotional abuse happening in their worlds.

　　问这个问题的女士所问的问题是有效的。有许多不再是受害者的男人、女人和孩子，可是这些人感到无法将其抛在身后。它就如同过去被虐待时一样还是自己的一部分。唯一的区别是如今在他们的世界没有情感或身体虐待发生。

　　What is victim mentality?
　　什么是受害人思维?

　　A victim mentality is one where you blame everyone else for what happens in your world. (Another definition not as commonly used is one that says a person thinks the future only holds bad things for them.) If you do not get the promotion it is because Mr. Johnson was out to get you. Not because he found you playing on the Internet every day. Your best friend called and said she could not have dinner with you. She is always doing that to you; not showing. You'll show her. You won't invite her when you go out again! Instead of remembering she has just started school and you did call her at the last minute. Victim mentality.

　　受害人思维是你对自己生活中的一切都指责于别人。(另一个不常用的定义是一个人认为未来只会给他们带来不好的东西)如果你没有获得晋升，那是因为Johnson和你做多。不是因为他发现你成天上网。你最好的朋友打电话说不能和你进餐。她总是那么对你，不来。你将看她颜色看看。当你再出去时就不会请她了。而没有考虑她才刚开学，而你却是在最后一分钟打给她电话。受害人思维。

　　Recently I spoke with someone who no longer lives with a victim mentality. She has gone on with her life and is free from some of the extra baggage that come with being a victim. We discussed forgiving our abusers and how in that process you also need to forgive yourself. With that came loosing the victim mentality.

　　最近，我和某位不再带着“受害人”思维的人谈话。她继续新的生活，不再有作为受害人要背的额外包袱。我们讨论了如何原谅虐待人，在此过程中你也要如何原谅自己。随之而来的就是释放了受害人思维。joozone.com