关于我的家乡南京的英语作文附点评

作文地带推荐优秀英语小作文“我的家乡—南京”
 
近年来，从使用牛津初中英语教材来看，英语教学取得了长足的进步，特别指在小学阶段英语基础较好的学生。这些学生在初中学习阶段，口语表达能力进步明显，完成教材要求的书面表达的水平不低，写作长度与遣词造句的能力很好。目前在提高学生写作档次上，或者说，在精批细改的过程中仍需认真研究。郑和外校的俞萍老师给我们做出了一次示范。

用英语清晰地表达一定的思想，让学习者把学习到的课本知识、当前的社会生活、自身的经历、想法和建议等，用逻辑思维联结起来。在具体的学习实践中，这两者实际上是不可分的，要初学者在写作实践中不断体验和逐步提高自己的写作能力。这可以防止学生死记硬背多、遗忘快的良方。学生读的再多，是别人的；只有通过思维的产物，用我手写我口，才是学生自己的。这可以说是英语写作的魅力所在！

下面请看郑和外校初三（6）班郭文海同学的书面表达“我的家乡—南京”：

My home town – Nanjing

Hello, I'm Michael. I think my hometown Nanjing is a great place to visit. It is the capital of      Jiangsu Province. It has a long history.

There are lots of interesting places to go. You can see beautiful views in Xuan Wu Lake Park. You also can take a boat trip on Xuan Wu Lake Park. It will be very comfortable and enjoyable. The Purple Mountain is another place that is worth visiting. You can breathe fresh air there. It's also a good place to go climbing. At the top of the Purple Mountain, you can see the view of the whole     city. If you are an  animal lover, HongShan Zoo is a good choice. There are different kinds of animals in it.

Xin Jie Kou is a good place to go shopping. There are hundreds of stops in Xin Jie Kou District. You can go to the Golden Eagle International Shopping Center to buy some beautiful clothes.

Welcome to my home town !

俞萍老师的话：在学完9B Unit3 我布置了一篇介绍自己家乡的文章。初三(6) 班郭文海同学模仿了reading 的写法，结构清晰层次清楚。开头先交代了自己的家乡并进行总的描述，二、三段重点介绍了南京的四个景点，以欢迎来到我的家乡结尾，简单明了。总的说来，文章用词较准，并能适当运用所学的定语从句和重点短语提升文章层次。若能把南京有代表性的中山陵和夫子庙也写进去则更好。

从上下文的完整性上，我们在句意上稍作了一些改动和增补，让意义更加清晰,更加接近实际生活。对“有档次的习作”有理想化要求的倾向。不过这只是一种尝试，期待着英语教师的“争鸣”，或者是“认同”。希望老师们下载批阅后的短文,引导学生体会"优秀英语书面表达"的特点.下面是批阅后的作文，改动处用蓝色字体标出：

Hello, I'm Michael Guo. I’ll tell you about my hometown Nanjing. Nanjing is the capital city of Jiangsu Province with a long history.

There are lots of interesting places for tourists or travel lovers. I recommend that Xuanwu Lake is the first place for you. It is in the northeast of Nanjing City. You can take a boat trip on the beautiful lake in the park. It will be very comfortable and enjoyable. The Purple Mountain is another place that is worth visiting. You can breathe fresh air in the forest around the hilly place. It's also a good place to go climbing. At the top of the Purple Mountain, you can see the view of the whole city  far down below. If you are an animal lover, Hongshan Zoo is a good choice. There are different kinds of animals in it.

Like shopping? And Xinjiekou is a good place to go to. There are hundreds of shops, small     and large, along the streets in this downtown area. You can go to the Golden Eagle International    Shopping Center to buy expensive fashionable clothes.

Welcome to my hometown Nanjing!

在此特别感谢俞萍老师，更希望全区的英语教师发稿，参与本次“提高学生英语书面表达能力”的活动。作文地带提供该文旨在让大家参考，版权归作者本人所有，如果您有好的英语作文，请您直接给编辑发邮件admin@joozone.com 与网友分享您的知识。