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our school library 英语作文

时间:2010-09-03来源:英语作文投稿栏目:网友投稿英语作文作者:yamadaa 英语作文收藏:收藏本文
习作原文 Located in the center of our school , our school library has only three reading rooms ,but there're lots of books on different subjects. There are also many newspapers and magazines .Do you imagine what the library will be like in 2030? May be in 203
习作原文

Located in the center of our school , our school library has only three reading rooms ,but there're lots of books on different subjects. There are also many newspapers and magazines .Do you imagine what the library will be like in 2030?

May be in 2030,library will be more bigger and moderner ,and there will be more books in it .Besides , computers and robots will work in library to help librarians and students ,we can find the book what we need more easily .And there'll be many e-books in library ,making it possible for students to borrow them not only in the library but also at home.

Students will more and more like library.



批 改 老 师 maotouying 评 分 96分 级 别 优秀 批 改

1.Located in the center of our school , 这个句子和后面的两个并列句子之间的关系不是很紧密,放在一个句子里面不合适,单独作为一个句子更好。Our library is located in the center of our school. 后面的our school library用it代替即可。

2.Do you imagine what the library will be like in 2030? 本句话放在第二段首更合理,因为本段讲的都是想象着的2030年的图书馆样子,并且国外人的表达习惯大多是开门见山的。作者请考虑本句话改为Can you imagine what the library will like in 2030?,是不是更合理。
3.May be in 2030,library will be more bigger and moderner ,and there will be more books in it .本句话首May be in 2030,是一句非常口语话的表达,也是一句中国式的表达习惯,建议在正式文中尽量少用。作者可以参考一下例句:I think our library will be more bigger and moderner ,and there will be more books in it.因为前面刚刚提到2030年,所以后面就没有必要在提起这一年份了。

4.Besides , computers and robots will work in library to help librarians and students ,we can find the book what we need more easily .前面用的是librarians and students ,后面就应该用they,而不能用we,在人称运用上要保持一致。

参考例句(文)

1.Our library is located in the center of our school.

2.Can you imagine what the library will like in 2030?,

3.I think our library will be more bigger and moderner ,and there will be more books in it.

点 评

本篇文章在语言表达上非常流畅,语法错误很少,是一篇优质的说明文。

文章中的不足之处在于文中有部分中国式的英语表达,批改处的第3、4处,作者在写作时只要稍加注意就可以减少出现类似的表达。

给 分 理 由

批改第1处,表达欠佳,扣1分;

批改第2处,在文章结构上不够合理,扣2分;

批改第3处,语法上不算错,稍显冗杂,扣1分;

批改第4处,人称使用不一致,扣2分;

文章表达流畅,第二段中Besides 和And用的合理,文章显得有条理,可以加2分。

最后得分96分。

批改满意度 100%joozone.com
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