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新东方论坛考研英语作文批改

时间:2011-01-14来源:新东方论坛栏目:考研英语作文作者:naonaonaonao 英语作文收藏:收藏本文
Dear Mr.Wang(称呼后面要有逗号,顶格写,正文另起一段,首行缩进) I am sorry to make the decision to quit the job as an editor for the magzine (拼写问题). Much as I have learnt here, it is not my ideal job. As an editor, I have to work for too much time beyond my energy(变成非
作文地带-英语作文网

Dear Mr.Wang(称呼后面要有逗号,顶格写,正文另起一段,首行缩进)
I am sorry to make the decision to quit the job as an editor for the magzine (拼写问题). Much as I have learnt here, it is not my ideal job.

As an editor, I have to work for too much time beyond my energy(变成非限定性定语从句比较好,which is beyond my bearing capacity). I am too tired to live a nomal(拼写错误)life because of the heavy-burden work. Moreover, as an edit(editor),I have a lot of pressure, for it is not really the sort of job I want to do.

Besides, The(不用首字母大写)salary for this work is a little low(lower)than that in my mind (what I have expected). All in all, I do not want to live such a hard life with a low(small) salary. I am apologizing for the inconvenience to you.

I would appreciate it if you can understand my situation.
Yours sincerely,
Li Ming
(这个署名要写在右下角第一行写yours sincerely, 记住逗号要加上,第二行写名字)

点评:5-6分
文章基本符合题目要求,但是格式不正确,希望你能按照改正的格式写作,另外,文中出现了拼写错误和语法错误,另有几处表达不当的地方导致文章质量下降,今后复习中要注意这些细节的地方。加油啊。

范文二:

Dear Mr. Wang,
  It was very kind of you to give me the chance to work as an editor. After a repeated long-term thinking(having been thinking it over and over),I feel very sorry to say that I want to quit my job.
  The main reason is that I find this job is not as challenging as I thought. I have always been asked to do a lot of odds and ends instead of accomplishing creative tasks such as inventing and composing. Besides, the pay(salary比较好)seems to be lower than my expectation.
  I am convinced that my working experience here will benefit me in my future career. I do apologize for any inconvenience caused by my sudden resignation, and I wish you all the best.
  Best regards.
  Yours sincerely,
  Li Ming
 
 点评:9分
文章内容充实,格式正确,语言比较流畅,如果能再提高语言方面的基本功,你将会写出满分作文。加油啊。

范文三:

Dear Mr. Wang, (这个称呼是格式的一部分,必须要写,且格式要正确)
I(本句话缺少主语,I 是不能丢的)feel very honored and glad to come to your company. During my stay here and work(working) here, I learn(have learnt)a lot of knowledge and resons(删掉). Thank you for colleagues and friends around me, I improved a lot.(I have a great improvement)
But I don't think I am a very good designer. I have many weakness(用复数形式)in many aspects, such as picking mateial(拼写错误), and other concepts are the main reasons to restrict me and make me tired.(这句话想表达的是?你可以先用简单句来表达,然后再合起来)So, to avoid greater loss of the company and myself, I decide to leave(resign).(用resign比较好)
Also thanks to Mr Wang for the great suppore and correction to my job,thanks again.(I am very grateful to you for your great support and correction to my job.)
I decide to quit, terribly sorry!(这句话没有礼貌,可以换成I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience caused by my resignation.)
Liming (Yours sincerely,Li Ming)这样分成两行写比较好

点评:3-4分
文章的格式不准确,结构安排不太符合题目要求。题目要求是在第一段表明自己的决定,第二段说明原因,第三段道歉这样安排,但是你的第一段只是在感谢你的领导和同事。另外,文章的语法错误和语言运用出现失误也导致文章质量下降。今后复习中一定要多加注意啊,多看看范文。加油。

范文四:

After a long time of thinking, I see no other alternative than to (I decide to )resign (resign from)my position as editor for Designs&Fashions. Needless to say, it's not an easy decision.
Thank you for giving me this opportunity, the job was really good and taught me a lot. (这句话前面加上连词and,来连接前面的一句,另外,这句话没有必要用过去时态,一般现在时就好)But I have found the disappointed fact that it was(is)not what I expected. It gave (gives) me great pressure and occupied (occupies) too much time, but I really need to spend more time with my family.
I apologize for any inconvenience caused by my sudden resignation. Please accept my thanks for your support and help. My best wishes for the company's continued growth.
Sincerely,
Li Ming


点评:5-6分
文章基本符合题目要求,结构安排比较合理,但是由于出现了一些语法错误和语言表达欠妥当的问题导致文章质量下降,今后复习中一定要注意英语基本功的加强练习,这样取得满分作文对你来说是非常有希望的,加油啊。


2011年考研英语作文大作文主题思想

主题思想:面对生活的态度

  (1) 文章展开:第一段结尾或第二段开始点明主题:需要积极的心态面对生活,尤其在面对挫折之时。接着举例说明,在汶川地震中无数人民拥有积极的心态,渴望仅存的一点生的希望,与灾难抗争。在重建灾区的过程中,大部分民众也是拥有着积极的人生观,为重建家园贡献自己的力量。最后说明积极心态的重要性,我们应当采取以下几方面措施:设定人生目标,有目标就有前进的动力;改变面对事情的态度,态度决定一切。

  (2) 表示采取积极的态度的词汇:take/develop/keep a positive/active attitude towards…. be active/positive to…. Positive attitude is the key to success. Attitude is everything。

  (3) 相关主题:面对挫折的态度、目标计划的重要性、竞争力社会下人们应当持有的正确态度、有勇气有信心的品质。

范文如下:
面对挫折的态度范文:
http://www.joozone.com/tags.php?/%B4%EC%D5%DB/

http://www.joozone.com/gaozhong/13575.html

http://www.joozone.com/gaokao/515.html

http://www.joozone.com/gaokao/20071208/515.html

目标计划的重要性:
人生目标:
http://www.joozone.com/chuzhong/2273.html

我的大学生活:树立目标 长远规划:http://www.joozone.com/kaoyan/910.html

职业规划 树立目标 长远规划 一年内规划:http://www.joozone.com/kaoyan/942.html


面对竞争的态度:
终点又是新起点英语作文:http://www.joozone.com/daxue/13065.html

英语作文有关诚实守信:http://www.joozone.com/daxue/20071222/770.html

收入差距 Income Gap英语作文:http://www.joozone.com/cet4/20100303/1962.html

关于竞争的争论问题的英语作文带翻译:http://www.joozone.com/cet4/13556.html

积极面对竞争Competition is Fun :http://www.joozone.com/daxue/3194.html

竞争主题:http://www.joozone.com/tags.php?/竞争/


有勇气有信心的品质:
自信self-confidence英语作文:http://www.joozone.com/daxue/2029.html

关于勇气的英语作文:http://www.joozone.com/gaozhong/3846.html

建立自信Building up Self-Confidence英语作文:http://www.joozone.com/cet4/3193.html

自信相关范文:http://www.joozone.com/tags.php?/自信/

谈勇气-On Courage英语作文:http://www.joozone.com/daxue/12823.html

勇气相关范文:http://www.joozone.com/tags.php?/勇气/

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